Well here it is

....
a simple newsletter dedicated to keeping you posted on Mr Mark Bannerman the Scottish digital artist and illustrator.

After much bitching and infighting the editorial team finally managed to settle on what would be each member's respective role. All of us wanted to do the pictures, only one of us wanted to write and nobody wanted to do the shitty bit, i.e the web designing. It was Clithilda Tickles our features writer who came up with the idea to single out Mr Cheeseteat our geriatric office boy for the task of web design.

With the aid of smart drugs disguised as chocolate bon bons Clithilda set to work in raising Mr Cheeseteats IQ by 50% - "have another sweety" she'd say popping pill after pill down the poor fool's throat untill he was a fool no more; and it's thanks (or no thanks) to Cheeseteat and Clithilda's machiavellian mind that the newsletter is here at all.

The Team

In total there are four of us on the team, myself (Editor), Clithilda Tickles ( Features ) , Toby Munch (photo monkey) and Colin Cheeseteat (web person thingy) .

Readers sensitive to animal issues may take pleasure in Toby Munch's story.
In 1972 Toby managed to slip the grasp of his alcoholic keeper in an East German zoo and hitched a ride under the chassis of an American Ambassador's car, sailing straight through the Brandenburg gates a free monkey.

From West Berlin Toby made his way on a child's scooter to Amsterdam where he eeked out a shabby existence doing tricks mainly for Scottish tourists. He has a vague memory of passing out in a Scotsman's sporran then awakening up to his neck in snow in the Cairngorm's. of Scotland This is where Mark Bannerman found him, shivering and quite alone.

I myself fell into journalism quite by chance after an encounter with a pack of wild dogs. Seeking refuge in an old barn, I happened across Clithilda Tickles busy with a local donkey handler. Clithilda was kind enough to walk me back to my hotel and said that if I was ever in need of employment "she could offer me a position under her" as a cub reporter - and so it was two years after this chance encounter, I found myself Clithilda's understudy and the rest is history.

So there we have it a brief introduction to the team - now let's publish and be damned.

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Dear friends

I must say I was tickled pink when our darling Editor Pickles called me up on the phone and said" Clithilda , what ever it is your doing stop it now! I have a most important assignment for you".
When Pickles mentioned that the assignment was to co-edit Mark Bannerman's newsletter I was delighted to come out of retirement and relocate from Surrey to Bonny Scotland - better still my penchant for yeasty booze seems quite the norm up here.

The Scots really are fantastic and Mr Bannerman is such a darling to work for, so understanding of my personal requirements and sleep patterns.

Yes it's personal issues before deadlines in this sleepy nook on the East Coast of Scotland wedged between salty sailors, all cockles and muscles alive alive oh.

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